As we made our way up to the iconic Kerak Castle, the journey took us up, up, up… through a maze of incredibly windy roads. By the time we reached the castle’s entrance, Martin discovered that Marianne had been leaking oil… or maybe diesel?
Who knows?
He didn’t say… and I didn’t bother asking.
All I know is that it was all over the road… and it escalated his mood from just sick and grumpy to sick, grumpy and shitty.
While Martin prepared to fix the truck… we all headed into the castle. I somehow found myself walking with Rebekah... and almost immediately, a man approached us, offering to show us around.
Nope.
Not my first rodeo. I politely declined… fully aware of how these “guides” operate. What they do is pepper you with questions, flatter you with compliments and hospitality… then gauge you when you’re least expecting. There is no solid deal made upfront and then they hit you with a ridiculous fee afterward for a tour you didn’t even realize you had… let alone, agreed to.
Welcome back to the land of hidden costs, scams and unspoken agreements. Yes, like most underdeveloped countries in the hospitality sector, Jordan certainly has its tourism infrastructure nailed with all the usual quirks.
Kerak Castle itself is a fascinating place, perched on a high plateau with breathtaking views of the surrounding landscape, including the Dead Sea. Built in 1142 AD by the Crusaders, it served as a strategic fortress during the Crusades. The castle controlled a lot of the trade routes and it was part of the Crusader Kingdom of Jerusalem.
Pretty impressive and its rich history is undeniable… but even that couldn’t overshadow the chaos within our group.
Mr. Meat got worked up because they “got the history wrong” and didn’t properly represent the United States. Whoever “they” is… I don’t know. I hardly stood around to hear another one of his rants.
Persnickety fell for a guide’s trap and was furious when they charged her afterward. It was something along the line of £30. Atrocious. To make things worse, she insisted Graham pay half the fee just because he stopped to listen to the guide as he was walking by. That argument dragged on forever… as Graham proved no match to Persnickety’s logic.
Honestly… I know I’ve mentioned it more than a few times… but I’m starting to notice how many of these people lack basic manners. Sue was shockingly rude earlier to the woman making omelets at the hotel. Then there was Geisha, who treated our waiter in Al-Karak with zero respect. There was no ‘please,’ no ‘thank you’…just this unbearable air of entitlement. It’s astounding how people can behave this way. It irks me especially… considering that is how I’ve made my living for the past 30 years.
Speaking of the hospitality industry… I had my own fiasco. My waiter in Al-Karak brought me a mountain of food… again. This always seems to happen to me…
Despite only really ordering one thing, I suddenly had half the kitchen in front of me and I had to call Mickey over to help me eat. As I was settling in for my first bite, my over-enthusiastic and seemingly very anxious water managed to smash my lemonade bottle on the table, knock it over onto the floor… not without hitting my foot first. Sticky lemon and glass shatters splattered everywhere… all over the cement, my shoes… and me. Sue, of course… we mustn’t forget Sue… added to the chaos by yelling at the poor guy about hurrying with the taxi she’d ordered.
These people…
Marianna was still under the knife, so the cooking crew had to take a taxi down the hill to a supermarket to shop for the evening. Tania said it was a nightmare dealing with Vic and Sue’s frantic indecision… only made worse by the driver, who was in a rush to get back up the hill… and started just grabbing items on their behalf.
Sue returned saying it was “proper fun,” while Tania rolled her eyes.
Later, Rosanna jumped in the back of the truck and informed us we’d all have to thoroughly clean the truck when we arrived in Amman. Before the words were all even out of her mouth, Mickey was already making a list and assigning us “duties.”
Of course, she had to make a list. Does she ever stop? I can practically hear her now: “LISTEN UP, PEOPLE!”
She’s like Patten. It’s nauseating.
She’s like a mix between a dictator and a regular passenger… a Patten-ger…
The countdown is on…just one more day.
One. More. Day.
Well… a couple actually.
One more night of camping. One more night of hotel.
We stopped at the Dead Sea today… and of course, I did my due diligence to check for sharks (you never know). I had no intention of going in the water considering I was still under the weather… but it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Everything I read confirmed there’s no marine life at all… just salty, lifeless water.
When we arrived, Karen and Martin didn’t even bother to leave the bus. Karen is sick but I suspect she might be embellishing ever so slightly so that it’s her confirmed excuse not to do anything. Stormin’ was down and back so fast, I doubt he even saw it.
He’s an odd one.
At this point… this is sad to admit… every stop feels like something to endure rather than enjoy. I’m just counting down the minutes until the day is over and this tour finally comes to an end.
Graham mentioned that the Dead Sea is the LOWEST point on Earth… which feels oddly symbolic.
Ending on a low note? Sounds about right for this trip.
The Dead Sea is the lowest point on Earth at 430 meters (1,410 feet) below sea level. Wow…
Sue and Persnickety braved the water… and as per the norm, Sue made a big show of asking me for a “huge favour.” She wanted me to take photos of her… which I did because, well… I’m too nice to say NO. But here’s the thing… I’ve decided not to send them to her until she thanks me for all the ones I’ve already sent. I’ve been sending her random photos (59 of them) since November 29th… and not once have I received a thank you. Not even a heart or a thumbs-up emoji. Nothing. So… until then… those photos are staying on my phone.
Honestly… manners, people!!!
I was still sick… but feeling much better with each passing moments. I just wanted to get to Amman. Though I was dreading that as well. I still hadn’t sorted all this “Sue” business out yet… which meant, I was still stuck with her.
It was killing me.
Seriously…
I was beside myself with anxiety…
I’d been thinking about asking Tania to step in and say something. My plan was perhaps for Tania to provoke Sue to start talking nasty about me… and then say “don’t share a room with her!” Brilliant. I just couldn’t figure out how to pull Tania aside without looking suspicious. Sue has her eye on me constantly. Even though her crush on Vic is painfully obvious, she’s ridiculously jealous of the time I spend with him.
See? Look at all this scheming and sneaking I’m having to do…
Our final camp was on a high cliff overlooking the Dead Sea. The view was stunning… and the water shimmering like an ice rink beneath the setting sun. It looked exactly like an ice rink.
Despite the beauty of the location, the tension was suffocating.
Sue was blatantly rude to me. She completely ignored me when I called her name, pretending not to hear me. Twice. It’s as if she gets worse every day. Funny how she’s suddenly sweet when she needs me to take her photo, wants lunch… or feels like intruding on my space to save a bit of money.
Serenity now…
As soon as we arrived, everyone rushed to set up their tents and snap photos of the sunset. Once I was done, I wandered over to cook crew and offered to help Tania and Vic. Sue was off setting up her tent. They asked me if I would mind chopping up the carrots… and I was happy to pitch in. I felt way more like myself… almost back to normal… aside from a lingering tickle in my throat.
But then Sue happened.
She came back from pitching her tent and was clanging & banging around the cook area, almost angrily… and blatantly ignoring me (again) when I tried to talk to her. A few minutes later, I saw her sneak off behind the truck with Rosanna. Not long after… Rosanna pulled me aside and told me I shouldn’t be helping with the cooking because I’d been sick. Not a word about Vic or Tania… who were also unwell.
I asked her if Sue had said something… and Rosanna denied it… but I don’t believe her for a second. Sue would do anything to have Vic all to herself. Too bad Tania isn’t as easy to get rid of.
As I walked away, Sue shot me a smug smile and said, “Thanks for helping!”
I’m so tired of helping so much on this trip only to be treated like garbage. And to top it off… I’m expected to share a room with this woman?
As if the evening wasn’t chaotic enough, a pack of wild dogs… at least 15 of them… descended on the campsite, barking and circling us relentlessly.
They didn’t stop. Not for a moment.
The noise was endless, incessant and unnerving. At one point, it was genuinely frightening to think about what might happen if they decided to move in while we were asleep.
Meanwhile, Mr. Meat decided to drink a beer and turned into a hugging machine. He kept hugging Lutz and calling him “Grandpa” because of his five o’clock shadow. Then he cornered Rebekah, begging her not to leave and to come to Iraq with him. She looked completely uncomfortable. He skipped hugging the Geisha, who had put the truck window down earlier… apparently a move Mr. Meat didn’t appreciate. And we all heard about it. He also skipped Stormin’… because he “hates that stupid guy.”
Even Rosanna’s patience seems to be wearing thin. Her polished facade is cracking. When I asked her a couple of questions tonight, Mickey jumped in to answer them while Rosanna just walked away. It’s like everyone’s turning into their worst selves.
We need off this tour.
As much as I’ve tried to stay positive… this trip has completely drained me. My sense of humour, my curiosity, my excitement, my love for exploring… they’re all gone. Temporarily, I hope. What’s left is just… a hollow version of me, clinging to tolerance and the hope that this nightmare will soon end.
Oh… and to top it all off? I left my jacket in the Petra hotel room. Brilliant.
The dogs barked all night. I thought it was quite fitting for our final camp. I heard them pawing around through the tents in the wee hours… but luckily, no attacks.
In the morning, I unzipped my tent and sat there, staring at the cook crew until I finally caught Tania’s attention. Once I had it, I waved her over and shared my cunning plan to get out of the roommate situation. She agreed to help… if she could.
Tania was still visibly irritated over an incident that had unfolded after dinner the night before. Apparently, something had set Sue off enough to announce to the entire group (I was already in my tent, oblivious) that Tania was just jealous of Sue because Vic really liked her.
What a bizarre thing to say?
Actually… it’s such a Sue thing to say.
She couldn’t read a room if her life depended on it.
I need to cut her loose.
Need.
To.
Get.
Rid.
Of.
Her.
Wish me luck…
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