On Boxing Day, Karen was back to her miserable old self again. She was definitely not handing out any chocolates with jokes. I suspect she might be borderline bipolar… if there is such a thing. She’s either boisterous and joyful, telling silly jokes to everyone… or she’s wretched.
Not long ago, on the morning of an early bush camp departure, we were all on the bus, ready to leave. There she was… down on her knees… in the sand… kissing the ground.
Don’t ask.
I didn’t.
For a brief moment, I thought she was Muslim… but she’s not.
She’s unbalanced.
Bonkers.
Though… I think if I spend any more time on this tour, I might very well be borderline bipolar too. I am counting down the days till I’m free.
The truck is continuing on to do an exploratory tour of Iraq before returning to Türkiye. Now… seriously… I would have loved that. The opportunity to be one of the first to really explore Iraq would be a phenomenal experience.
At first I was jealous.
Jealous… true story… Imagine me, envious about missing the chance to spend another four weeks on this bus tour. Had I known about this Iraq extension prior to my original booking, I would have booked the extension… no questions asked. At all. Madventures presented it to all of us… and as cool as it sounds… no bloody way.
Another month with this crew? I would die.
Die.
RIP me.
Graham still hasn’t opened his Christmas present. He keeps on reminding me that anticipation is the spice of life, but I’m not buying that anymore. I’m convinced he’s lost it.
Today was Boxing Day… and also Rosanna’s birthday… or as Mickey calls her, “Spanna.”
Everyone is beginning to not only notice, but also talk about Mickey’s obsession with Rosanna. It is getting more and more obvious… and more and more deranged with each passing day.
I do realize this blog has evolved into my personal venting space rather than a valid and informative travel journal, but I desperately need an outlet to air my grievances. Somewhere to ‘let it all out.’
So… too bad.
Anyone ready this - You’re stuck with me.
Apparently, back when we first joined the tour in Dubai, Mickey announced to someone, “No one better annoy the guides because they’re tired. If anyone needs anything, they should come directly to me.”
Umm… what?
Who even says that?
What kind of tour is this?
Yep… today was Boxing Day and we were heading in the direction of Saudi Arabia’s capital city, Riyadh. But first, we had a stopover in Diryah.
Diriyah was the original capital of the first Saudi state, in the 18th century. It is the birthplace of the Saudi dynasty and the foundation of modern Saudi Arabia. It’s also a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
Sound fun, right?
Our standards were fairly low… after closed museums, empty villages and parking lot date markets.
On the way to Diriyah, Sue launched into a spirited discussion about bike paths versus pedestrian paths. I’m not sure how or why it started, but she happened to mention that there’s never enough space for pedestrians, so she often walks right in the middle of the bike lane.
This irked Persnickety Marilyn, who wasn’t even part of the conversation, but had to insert herself and turn it into a personal attack, making herself the victim… like she always does.
“I’m a biker,” she proclaimed indignantly, “how dare you disrespect me and the entire cycling community by doing that!”
Sue couldn’t have cared less, which only fueled Persnickety’s dramatic huff.
The best part? Oooohhh…. When we arrived in Diriyah, we had to walk about ten minutes to the entrance… on a designated BIKE LANE. Every few feet, a large bicycle symbol marked the path in both directions, leaving absolutely ZERO space for pedestrians. Persnickety clearly noticed the symbols (they were impossible to miss) and was basically forced (through her own loud mouthed convictions) to stick to walking to the very edge of the lane. She awkwardly tiptoed along the tiniest sliver of space, just to avoid stepping into the “sacred” bike lane… and contradicting what she’d been so adamant about earlier.
The whole spectacle was hilarious to watch. Sue, Warren and I couldn’t stop laughing as Persnickety shimmied along the side of the path, clinging to her preposterous principles.
Honestly, she’s too much.
Diriyah was, honestly, a bit underwhelming… as we all suspected it might be. Like so many places we’ve visited, much of it was closed. There’s something distinctly uninspiring about walking down a long outdoor alleyway lined with locked doors.
As the former home of the original Saudi royalty, it definitely had a touch of intrigue. I made sure to explore every nook and cranny… as we had three hours there. Three hours seemed slightly excessive… so I made a point of moving slowly into every area that was open to the public. I ventured into all the museums, I watched all the informational videos, I visited all the ruins and I even strolled through the royal palm gardens. But after that… there wasn’t much else to do. The souq was closed and most of the restaurants were far beyond my budget… so I headed back to the truck.
There is one big thing I’ve noticed about Saudi Arabia… most places seem to come alive only in the evening. It’s true. During the day, everything is eerily empty, but as soon as the sun goes down, the people emerge… drawn out by the darkness… like vampires.
So yes… it was Rosanna’s birthday and plans were set to celebrate in the evening when we arrived in Riyadh.
At first I wasn’t sure if we were all invited or if it was just the Rosanna-Mickey-Martin show… but turns out we all were.
Their plan?
Wait for it…
Wait for it……
Wait for it………
Now before I reveal the big birthday plan that had been in the works for “weeks,” let me remind you all that we were headed towards Riyadh… the capital city of Saudi Arabia.
Riyadh ~ a dynamic city that represents a blend of tradition and modernity. The city is home to many new restaurants and entertainment hubs… and is undergoing rapid transformation with new projects aiming to make it a global, cultural and entertainment destination.
With all this at our fingertips, guess where we went for Rosanna’s birthday?
The mall.
I can’t make this shit up.
When I came downstairs to meet the group, I spotted kind Brian sitting in one of the lobby chairs.
He was coming to the mall with us?
Really???
I was genuinely surprised since he usually avoids group activities. As I approached him, he stood up and… almost immediately, said he didn’t think he could go through with the birthday outing. Fair enough. I wasn’t sure I could either. Without another word, he turned and headed back to his room. He was out…
I was disappointed.
He was supposed to be my wingman. Even Vic and Tania backed out.
The cheese stood alone.
Me.
Mickey thought it would be a good idea to head to the mall because of the food court… then everyone could pick whatever they wanted to eat. To be fair, Rosanna was over the moon about everything and enjoyed every second. She’s such a genuinely happy person though… she probably would’ve been happy with anything. The mall even had a small amusement park with rides like a Graviton, a Tilt-a-Whirl and a tiny roller coaster.
After indulging in a greasy food court meal and way too much cake, I decided to wander around the mall, as opposed to making myself sick on the rides. I do love shopping… and I was still on the hunt for a simple summer skirt. But finding a skirt in the Middle East is practically impossible. There are no skirts… zero… only floor-length dresses everywhere. I ended up finding two dresses… on sale. I loved them both. One of them was white, had a rose pattern and slightly puffed sleeves, just like something Elizabeth Bennett would wear. It was undeniably Jane Austen. Unable to choose between them, I bought them both.
It was my Christmas present to myself.
When I met back up with the group, I was feeling happy. A little retail therapy can work wonders. I approached them with a big smile, thrilled with my little shopping success. And right there… was miserable Persnickety… to spoil the moment and ruin my vibe. She gave me and my shopping bag this look of absolute disgust.
The disdain was written all across her hollowed, wrinkly face… as if she believed herself superior to me for prioritizing deeper values. People often fail to appreciate the genuine joy that shopping can bring. I could see her muttering nasty remarks under her breath and whispering to anyone who would listen. She was publicly judging me for indulging in a moment of frivolity… and treating myself to a much deserved Christmas gift.
If I couldn’t stand her before, I absolutely loathe her now. I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to share a room with her. That will definitely be the rock bottom of rock bottom. Everything about her gets under my skin… her appalling, pin-straight, greasy bangs that hang over her glasses, her platform sandals, her drab black clothes (she could use a shopping spree), her tiny, mouse-like steps… and her grating, whiny voice.
Anyway, enough about horrid Persnickety.
Here’s the video I made for Rosanna. See if you can correctly name each person…
Points for trying…
The next morning, Mickey left for Dubai… and I was no closer to figuring out why. At first, I thought maybe she and Rosanna were taking off together, for some kind of BFF getaway… though I doubted Madventures would approve of Rosanna abandoning her post. The dramatic display of hugs, kisses and overly sentimental farewells definitely quashed that notion. For a mere 10 hour separation, the farewell spectacle at breakfast was completely over the top.
It was beyond absurd.
This whole thing is a mystery.
Why is she flying to Dubai?
Is it for a Madventures interview? Mickey has often talked about wanting to be a guide, though she’d be an absolutely appalling tour guide.
Is she going to buy Rosanna a gift? That actually seems probable.
Something odd is definitely going on between them. Even weirder, Rosanna seems to encourage it. Mickey always gets her own room… and she can’t even claim it’s because she’s paying for upgrades anymore. With an uneven number of women on the trip, there’s always going to be a solo room. Honestly, I think we should rotate who gets it.
That’s the only fair solution.
Between her strange attachment to Rosanna… and this sudden trip to Dubai, I can’t figure it out. What could it be? Seriously…
Medical reasons?
A visa issue?
A banking situation?
Smuggling alcohol? …fingers crossed for this one.
This whole tour is whack.
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